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A Eulogy for the 2023-2024 Detroit Pistons, the Worst Team in Franchise History

In four years of rebuilding, the Pistons are no closer to the playoffs than when they started.

Mike Anguilano

Apr 15

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Rival Coach Praises Detroit Pistons Star Cade Cunningham — The Pistons season has mercifully come to an end, but Cade Cunningham (left) was the brightest spot amongst immense futility. (Image via Sports Illustrated)

"Boy, that was rough.”

Those were the rumored first words for a “Seinfeld” reunion in the form of a Super Bowl commercial almost a decade ago, with George Costanza speaking to his friend Jerry Seinfeld in the classic fictional “Monk’s” diner. George and Jerry, of course, were sentenced to jail in the final episode of the show for violating the Good Samaritan Law - presumably spending all that time since in the clink. They did their time, and now they are freed.

I find that scenario similar to watching the 2023-2024 Detroit Pistons. Most nights, it felt like being in a sort of fandom jail. For others, it felt like downright punishment.

But we’re out now, and we can look back and mutter “Boy, that was rough”.

The Pistons, who had momentum heading into the season with some talented prospects and a former Coach of the Year award winner leading the way, crashed and burned before Christmas. They lost 28 games in a row. They finished with the worst record in franchise history. Sportsbooks had them finishing with around 26 wins, which is roughly double what they did. The Detroit Lions won more games in a month-long period than the Pistons did. It was one for the history books, just the wrong section.

If you have been a loyal listener of the Palace of Pistons Podcast, we’ve been quite critical of the organization from top to bottom. From top to bottom, the Pistons have failed spectacularly. Some will say that the rebuild isn’t considered unsuccessful until Cade Cunningham regresses or leaves for greener pastures.

Hogwash.

The Pistons’ rebuild has failed. Cunningham is a very good player who showed signs of being the second or third-best player on a championship team, but he is the lone bright spot. Jaden Ivey didn’t make the expected jump. Same goes for Jalen Duren. Ausar Thompson is raw, but athletic. Remember Killian Hayes? He is out of the league. The bench was a disaster all season. Ditto for Monty Williams, who had some truly baffling rotation decisions and quotes that made us question if he knew what he was doing.

Then there’s Troy Weaver, the architect of this hollowed-out and abandoned-looking building called the Pistons. Williams was terrible all season, but his one caveat to that is the exceptionally terrible job Weaver has done to give him a roster that makes sense. Weaver never used the ample cap space he created to sign helpful players, instead opting to absorb bad contracts and kick the can down the road. Six of his first eight draft picks are either not on the team or even in the NBA. To say it has been a disaster is somehow an understatement. If this is any other team or situation, Weaver would be shown the door already. Instead, he received a contract extension last summer of an unidentified length and dollar amount. It’s time to pull the plug on this corpse of a team and start anew.

So where is the hope? That was a question on one of our recent podcasts, and it was difficult to find. Firing Weaver is a good start. Buying out Williams’ mammoth contract and bringing in a development-focused coach would be helpful, too. Re-signing Cunningham would help assure the fanbase that the last four years weren’t a complete failure.

But perhaps the biggest issue is that the Pistons seem like a completely rudderless vessel. There is no goal or strategy from the front office. There is no rhyme or reason for their free agency signings, trades, or draft picks. Extending Marvin Bagley? Trading for James Wiseman? Drafting all of these second-rounders with no intent to use the G League properly? Using precious cap space on washed-up Joe Harris, or simply not using it at all? Giving Williams so much money to coach that he literally cannot say no? Nothing the front office has done makes even a lick of sense because there was seemingly no strategy in place.

To say the rebuild hasn’t failed is obtuse or contrarian for the sake of variety. It has failed from top to bottom. The Pistons are no closer to the playoffs than they were when they tanked for Cunningham. They are somehow farther away.

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